Jen's Experience with Gender Issues
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| Well, I'm not transgender myself, in case that's what you're wondering. But I do have close relationships with transgender family and friends, so being transgender is just a normal variation to me, much like how people have different hair colors. I know transgender people who lead wonderful, creative lives despite any stereotypes that exist and despite people who believe those stereotypes are true.
In 1995, I conducted a two-semester research project on "crossdressers" at Kutztown University. While most of the articles in psychological journals at the time gave a distorted and incomplete picture of gender issues, I discovered a more accurate story in the heartfelt stories the subjects shared with me.
Ten years later, I rebooted my interest in gender when I learned that a family member assigned male at birth identified as female. As I learned about the issue, I resolved to share this information with other families.
Dr. Lisa O'Connor, (pictured to the left), a hormone doctor who is transgender, acted as a mentor, assigning books for me to read and guiding me on to best guide transgender clients. I keep up on the latest developments by listening to transgender clients (I've seen hundreds), attending conferences such as the Philadelphia Trans Wellness Conference, the Gender Conference East (now NYC), and others. After a few years, I became the teacher at the aformentioned conferences as well as the New Jersey Counseling Association, Columbia University, schools, hospitals, and doctors' offices.
I keep my clinical skills sharp by attending peer supervisions at the Bradbury-Sullivan Center.
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Jen's approach to Gender Therapy
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I use the Gender Affirmative Approach. That means I view gender variance as normal and natural. I help individuals to find a gender expression that feels authentic and safe for them. I have no interest in forcing people to conform to the expectations society places on them because of the genitals they were born with. Nor am I trying to recruit the anybody to adopt the "trangender lifestyle."
This is the method favored by the major medical associations. Here's what they say:
AMERICAN COUNSELING ASSOCIATION (2009) “All persons have the potential to live full functioning and emotionally healthy lives throughout their lifespan while embracing the full spectrum of gender identity expression, gender presentation, and gender diversity beyond the male-female binary.
AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION (2008) “An established body of medical research demonstrates the effectiveness and medical necessity of mental health care, hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery as forms of therapeutic treatment for many people diagnosed with GID”
AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION (2012) The APA “recognizes that appropriately evaluated transgender and gender variant individuals can benefit greatly from medical and surgical gender transition.”
AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION “It is not helpful to force the child to act in a more gender-conforming way.”
I will not practice methods that are harmful. A few of my transgender clients have decided to not transition, usually because people important to them could not tolerate it. I respect their decision, even though it was painful for them. But I will never participate in Conversion/Reparative therapy, which attempts to change a client's gender identity. It is illegal in many states because this type of therapy is harmful, and it's not effective anyway.
I realize that parents can have strong feelings when they discover their child identifies as transgender. Often what the parents want may be at odds with what is best for a child's mental health. When this happens, I require parents to address these feelings in therapy, whether it is in individual, family or group therapy. Sometimes I can provide therapy. However, when there is intense family conflict, I require family therapy to resolve these issues.
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Click here for a list of hormones prescribers in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and New York. Some of them require a therapist to conduct an assessment for readiness to take hormones, and Jen can do that for you.
Some prescribers use the Informed Consent model, and do not need a letter from a therapist in most cases. Dana Delgardo in Denville, NJ is an example of a prescriber who uses this approach and also provides compassionate primary care for transgender adults.
The Institute for Personal Growth, which has locations in Jersey City, Highland Park and Freehold, NJ, posts a comprehensive Transgender Resource Guide which lists 60 pages of resources, including Advocacy, Crossgender supplies, Electrolysis, Legal Services, Support Groups, and Vocal Coaching.
GROUPS
Being transgender is not inherently problematic. It's the discrimination and stigma - or the fear of it - that does the most damage. It makes sense, then, that since disapproving people cause the problem, accepting people can be part of the solution. Below are just a few of the options. If you find out that any of them are not operating anymore, let me know at this email.
Allentown, PA
This Center provides arts & culture, health, youth programs and groups to support the LGBT community.
This is a meet-up group that host special events in New Hope, Allentown and other places. Members are Transgender and Non-Binary individuals and their significant others.
The Renaissance Transgender Association is a Non-profit, Non-political, Educational and Social Transgender Support Group Founded and Designed to Educate and Support Transgender People and Those Who Care About Them Without Prejudice.
Offers support groups and social groups for LGBTQ+ adults and youth.
- parent support group
- LGBTQ+ youth groups
- adult transgender & gender non-conforming support group
• "Self-Discovery" Discussions
• Guest Speaker
• Movies (Quarterly)
• Leadership in Action - Leadership Skills, Volunteering, Planning/Executing Service Projects.
• Discussions on History, Current Events, and the LGBT Movement
Pride in Action meets on the second and fourth Wednesday of every month, from 6:30P.M. to 8:30P.M.
is a social and educational group for gender-fluid/gender-creative and transgender youth and their parents. The group offers a safe space for gender-fluid children and teens to be completely themselves and for parents to share their challenges, joys and questions. This project is fully funded by North Jersey Pride.
Oakhurst, NJ
Sponsors youth groups, parties, proms, arts and cultural programs, rides to Pride Marches and other events. Check out their Facebook page.
CONFERENCES:
The Philadelphia Trans-Wellness Conference offers workshops and networking events for transgender individuals and their allies, families, and providers for free.
The Gender Conference NYC offers a safe space for children and youth across the gender spectrum, as well as their families and the professionals working with them. While parents go to workshops, kids can do creative play activities that allow them to express their gender.
DOWNLOADABLE BROCHURES:
The Standards of Care describes the criteria doctors generally require patients to meet in order to be considered for Hormone Replacement Therapy or Sex Reassignment Surgery.
Parents of transgender children should be advised that today's recommendations on how to treat gender variant children are different than the recommendations made in the 1970s. Despite the Free to Be You and Me program, parents were told to allow their children only "gender appropriate toys, dress and activities." This practice is now considered to be harmful. Margie Nichols, Ph.D. explains the change in approaches in this essay.
The Family Acceptance Program offers on-line brochures describing how families can help support their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) children. These family education booklets have been designated as a “Best Practice” resource for suicide prevention for LGBT people by the national Best Practices Registry for Suicide Prevention.
Schools in Transition brochures, developed by The National Education Association, the American Civil Liberties Union, Human Rights Campaign, Gender Spectrum and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, outline the best practices in supporting Transgender Students in School.
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